In Between
by Depp1987
Summary: Drabbles: Kirk and his beloved Captain Pike, Chekov being well, Chekov, Spocks first pon farr w/ Kirk, and our heroes get trapped on an abandoned planet, AND SOOOO MUCH MORE!
1. Chapter 1

**Therapy**

**Rating: T**

Pike saw the lights come on in the dimly lit apartment. He knew who it was. Kirk appeared, in jeans and his academy t shirt with a pair of sandals on. The hot Jue sun was already persistent even though it was 4 AM.

"Hey," Kirk whispered, as not to startle him awake. Pike tried to smile. The Acting Captain gently checked the fluid levels, and expertly took in the condition of the bruises on his mentor.

"Better today," he whispered, trying to stay positive. He noted it on the chart Bones had left for him.

"You OK," he asked worriedly, he was so fragile from everything that he knew Pike must be too. He hadn't been tortured. He sat down, and gently began manipulating the muscles to avoid spasms. He put hot rags on them to help also.

"Tired Jimmy just tired…" even in this state he was not going to scare his only God son. The one that had been everything to him, and the bond they had shared over food, classes, and extra training. Kirk put cream on the oozing sours, and checked the swelling on the incisions Bones had done in surgery.

"You are above and beyond," Pike whispered, Jim just grinned widely, and continued rubbing the cream on before covering the wounds to keep them clean.

"OK… here we go…" Pike had never had someone in the Fleet so dedicated to him before. Jim took a deep breath as he gently removed the Captain's shirt and grabbed a sponge by the bed. He knew if the role were reversed, he'd want the same done for him.

"No bedside manner classes here, should be though…" Pike smiled. Jim just grinned back, and sponged him off, careful not to get the cuts wet.

"I like being home in between missions, time to think…"

"Really you?"

"I thought I'd be bored and hate it, but then again… I never spend time with anybody when I'm here…" he gently continued the sponge bath, lost in what he was doing. He certainly did not see this as work, or anything else. He loved Pike, like a father.

"I could order you not to do this…" Pike said with a straight face. Jim looked don, in a way sdisappointed by that though.

"Jim," Kirk looked up, and tears brimmed in his eyes. Chris grinned at his sudden fear.

"Lighten up, son." He laughed, Kirk grinned in spite o himself, and just got lost again in his task that h never would have considered a task.

"Who needs nursing when I've got my God son," Pike smiled, shaking his head. He also grinned at the thought of Kirk breaking and entering should someone say he couldn't take care of his beloved Captain.

"I'm protective,"

"Yeah I get that one… More than Bones- wait what is that name you call McCoy?" he gives him a weird look, and grins.

"Yeah that's it, Bones." He affirms, grinning. He is multi tasking, watching the wounds to make sure they are dry.

"You're a too good" Pike grins, he feels a little cocky after all he has made him into what he is.

"I have you, there is no other option here." He dries the free flesh, not covered by bandages, and pulls the t shirt back on gently.

"OKKK…" he runs though the mental checklist in his head again, and sees the sun come up over the Golden gate.

"We all good, Captain." Jim put a gentle hand on his forehead, and just stared. Everything was catching up with him, he pushed it away.

"You're quiet… whats the matter?"

"Taking a breather,"

"You don't know how, cadet." He nodded, but he fooled himself the same anyway. He never knew when to stop moving.

"Come over here," Jim smiled, and climbed into bed with him, Pike's arms around him securely.

"How long did that take, ten seconds…" he knew Jim thrived on touch, and security.

"Hhhmmm…" he was about to fall asleep, he was so comfortable and safe. Pike just savored having him in his arms, and not worrying about where eh was and what he was getting into.

"You're not giving me grey hair this time around, nice change," he squeezd him tightly . Jim laughed and smiled, nestling into his trainer's arms.

"Feel good?" he whispered, a hand rubbing his back softly. Pike knew every soft spot, like any dad would.

"Not fair, you're the injured one.." Jim felt horrible, but he knew this was what he needed now.

"No matter how talented you get, how many medals you achieve, you'll always be my boy," the warmth came back into Kirk like a wave, it was what he always felt around the one that had recruited him.

"Remember when I fell out the shuttle during training?" he grinned at the memory.

"Yup, and McCoy hadda go after you, I thought you were both dead…" they laughed and then it hit Kirk what had happened that day.

"I knew I could do this," Pike grinned, and continued rubbing his back soothingly. He knew once you had a cadet hyped up, it was harder to get them to calm down.

"We don't do this enough," Pike realized, Jim smiled, and nodded. It was as if the added duty of having what he wanted made it harder to appreciate the little things.

"We did it all the time, when I was a first year,"

"Yeah after I found you sleeping outside on a bench, instead of the dorm because you overdid it on the weapons training… You couldn't even make it to the room…" Jim moved and rested against Pike's shoulder, his nose buried in his collar bone.

"I woke up with you chilling by the bed, reading the paper…" he remembered, he'd been grateful but it wasn't something he ever expected Pike to do. In addition to feeding him dinner every week, throwing lasers at him till neither of them could see, and hearing all the old stories from when he was Jims age.

"That was the first time you told me you loved me," Jim remembered, staring off into space.

"I know, cadet. And you were so sleepy you said-"

"Love you more…" Kirk grinned widely, and he remembered the sleepy warmth he had when he realized Pike had taken him in.

_ "Mmmmmhhhhmmmm," a sleepy first year Jim woke up in a different room. He saw a form of his weapons instructor and mentor Chris Pike in the chair reading the paper._

_ "Morning Sleepy Head, don't fall asleep outside ever again, you'll get sick from it being so cold at night," Pike came over and sat down on the bed._

_ "You…" Kirk realized what had happened. Pike brushed his blond hair with a free hand._

_ "Love you," he whispered into his ear. The feeling was so paternal it made Kirk's eyes brim with tears._

_ "Love you more," a sleepy Kirk whispered back, Pike brushed a few tears from his cheek. The captain leaned down and put his arms around the young cadet. Kirk breathed in his scent, it felt so good, so safe._

_ "If you wanted to… I could be there for you, like any father… If you wanted, I'm not pushing you, it's completely up to you." Pike had finally caved in on his urge and put everything on the table. _

_ "Really?" Kirk looked at him suspiciously, it's not like anyone ever did this for him in his life._

_ "You think about it. Let me know, OK." He felt Jim squeeze his arm, in an affectionate movment after he said that. Pike grinned as the early morning light creaked in over the California mountains._

"Jim… Jimmy… earth to Jim Kirk…" Bones was standing over the pair, Kirk in his jeans with shoes off, curled up next to his mentor.

"You two looked so peaceful I didn't want out disturb…" Bones checked Pike's readings. Jim blinked sleepily, and just grinned.

"Oh and Jim," his God son turned and smiled back. Pike wasn't smiling this time.

"Mind telling me why you never told me that the blond called back? The one from the mission two years ago?" Jim just ignored him, and looked away. This could not be happening, not now of all times.

"I'll… I'll go check it out…" he slipped away before the other two could say anything.

"You're dating, and the baby can't deal…" Pike sighed, he knew this would happen and it's not like they could avoid it.

"I dote on him, feed him, and now he's so protective… When did that start?" Bones shook his head and grinned.

"Well.. You save the planet, become Captain, and pretty much get a whole bunch of friends to love you and be there for you… Oh, and find your God father after years of not having him," Pike nods, this is why they were in therapy in the first place and he knew they both needed it.

Jim sipped out the side door, and tried to run away,literally. He got ten feet before a voice behind him made him stop.

"He's dating again, isn't he?" Jim rolled his eyes and turned around.


	2. Baby Of Mine

**Baby Mine**

**Rating: T**

"Jim," Kirk turned when he heard a soft knock on the door. His therapist, and Pike's other best friend, he had been two years ahead of George and Pike, Dr. Shay came in. he had been Jim's therapist on and off for years.

"Thought you'd be in here," the cheery demeanor was driving Kirk crazy, he had no patience for this.

"You know he's dating again…" Dr. raised his eyebrows, Jim said nothing. He felt him sit on the bed. Jim almost went into pycho mode; only Pike was allowed to do that.

"I don't want to deal with this," he got up and walked arpound.

"You have to face it,"

"NO, I don't.. I'm leaving in a month anyway…" he reasoned, this conversation was getting him nowhere.

"But he will start dating, now that he is going to make a full recovery…"

"Good, I know…"

"Not telling him is not going to make this any easier, Jimmy." Kirk nodded, he knew his therapist was right.

"We all have to go to dinner, and he's going to want to sit next to you, and you're going to act like _this_."

"I say nothing, we stay the same… Its fine."

"And you'll cal me with that feeling again." Dr raised an eyebrow. Jim looked down, he felt so ad now.

"You know… That feeling when your tummy goes cold, and your tongue feels numb… And your hands start to shake, because you know that the hurt will come out, and it will find a hole and seep out of you… Because it always does,"

"Let me know if you need me, kay." A genuine smile met Jim's eyes. It was getting late and he needed to nap a bit. He got under the covers and commanded the lights off.

"Hhhhmmmm," he felt his eyes close, and he was about to slip into dreamland when he felt a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I wish he knew I remembered, Dr."

"I know Jim, maybe if you tell him what hurts you, the memory will happen again in real life…"

"Nah.. that was a one time thing because we had finally agreed on things in a parental sense…"

"Or, you could believe me when I say Pike loved you from the start and took care of you always,"

_ "Hold still," Jim did and felt the pain hit his hand and upper arm. Pike was patching the wound from the laser drill. _

_ "I never not looked in my life, what was I thinking?" _

_ "Don't be arrogant, Kirk we've all done it." Pike grinned trying to be supportive of his only advisee._

_ "I know that, Commander." Pike shook his head in disgust. Jim knew this was not gonna be good._

_ "We have to work this out, OK son." Kirk bit his lip as the sting shot through his hand from the antiseptic._

_ "I can't call ya, Dad and the other thing is too formal…" the antiseptic mixed with the shot Bones gave him took effect and he felt himself fall into sleep face first._

_ "Whats wring with-" Kirk was almost out when he said the last thing. Pike whispered it into his ear._

_ "What's wrong with Papa…"_

_ "HhhhhMmmmmmm Kay…" his sleep tugging at him made his sentence impossible to make out. Pike laid donw next to him, and started singing one of the old childhood lullabies from the 20__th__ century._

_ "Baby mine don't you cry, baby mine dry your eyes, rest your head close to my heart never to part baby of mine…" Kirk heard every ounce of every word laced with all the love and paternal protection that came with it. He was so entranced it took him out of one state of sleep so he heard the beautiful words, almost like the lullaby was meant for him and Pike's endless fight for his God child. _

_ "Little one when you play, don't you mind what they say, let those eyes sparkle nd shine never a tear baby of mine…" Pike was lost in his song for his beloved Captain, that in reality was still a baby in terms of Star Fleet. No one had ever made it to Captain in three years, and keeping Kirk groomed was just as hard for him. He held his God son close and savored having him near, and safe. His worries were that of any parent and he would kill and bury anyone who tried to hurt his baby. Yes, he was George's but Pike had been there just as much when she was pregnant, and they had talked to Jimmy all the time._

_ Now with them both gone one in one way or another, he had to care for their child. He never could have seen this coming. He watched Kirk move and wrap his hand around Pike's wrist in comfort, security. His little on moved in his sleep, craving the connection to his Papa, his everything now. _

"If they knew sweet little you, they'd end up loving you to…" Kirk slipped out of sleep hearing his Godfather singing to him. He opened his eyes, Pike's face touched his and they relished in holding onto one another.

"No one will ever replace you, Jimmy… No one,"

"I know Papa, I love you…" Pike lost control and wrapped his arms around Jimmy. He fell asleep in his arms, just home from a mission only weeks ago. The warm hand stroking his sandy blond hair, only made him fall asleep faster.


	3. Aftermath

**Aftermath**

**Rating: M**

**I'm being safe with the rating here, going to get verrrrryyyy adult in some convos between everyone. Kirk and the crew come home with a gamut of emotions and how everyone deals differently. Kirk/Spock, Kirk/Pike (fluff), Kirk/Bones (fluff). **

Kirk leaned against the wall of the office. He had to do this, he had to but he really had no idea how to.. He opened the door, and Pike greeted him, smiling.

"You OK?" Kirk sat down, he hated this part, and he had fucked up. They all had, and he was gonna get it.

"No… You need to know the truth," Pike nodded, and leaned back. He was so fatherly it made Jim scared, and happy at the same time.

"I failed the Fleet…" he said slowly, he hung his head in shame. Pike wheeled over to him..

"Jim…"

"Spock, me, Uhura, Bones… We all fucked up so badly, Captain. I cant even tell you all of it because its so horribly-" Pike cut him off.

"Jimmy, listen to me.. I don't care if you accidently kill someone, you will still have me no matter what. I'll still be there for you, and love you, no matter what happens, son…" Pike smiled so genuine.

"I… I pushed him over the edge…" he said horridly, tears in his voice. Pike looked confused.

"Him who, Jim? Who?"

"Spock, I took complete advantage of him.. I wanted you back, I wanted to…" he couldn't stop crying now the taers just came like a faucet.

"OK, OK, just slow down, tell me what happened."

"Spock knocked me out and beamed me to Delta vega, I found his other self, only older. we managed to beam back onto the ship, and I just went crazy on him.. I told him he never loved his mom, I I was…"

"That's where Scotty came from?" Chris was putting all the pieces together.

"Yes, and then the same dudes you saved me from almost lasered us. I just couldn't take it… You gave us _more than one order_." Jim was struggling to breath now.

"Here," he gave him a water bottle, Jim gulped it down.

"I hated that he dint care about you, I wanted to kill him I was so angry… I just lost it, Scotty really just had no idea what to do, he was choking me so hard, I almost blacked out."

"They are strong, Vulcans. Remember Admiral C's alien anatomy class?" he nodded, he should have paid attention to that one.

"So Scotty was there too." He wondered how many people witnessed them trying to duke it out.

"Everyone was, Captain." He was so humiliated by it all, an he couldn't tell anyone.

"So Spovk was odd man out?" Pike raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, even Uhura was sickened by what he did…. I saw her face, and Bones just… I don't know…"

"Look at me," Jim looks deep into his eyes now, Pike was on leave and now they could have these intense conversations with nothing academic attached.

"The night we docked home, I thought you were going to code from the stress… Then when I came in and asked you to tell me half of what happened, you lost it over me… Bones had to sedate you I was so worried." Jim looked away.

"What are you saying, Captain?"

"Jimmy you have signs of PTSD… We all get it, and we all have to deal, I want you in therapy twice a week. Captain that is an order." Jim looked away, and just stared.

"Can… can I still help you with PT and give you your nerve injections?"

"Oh, Jimmy… Of course, this won't change anything like that, not between us or your friends either."

"When should I start…"

"Soon, I know who to send you to, friend of mine from the Fleet when I was a Captain. Brilliant guy from UCLA." Jim nodded.

"OK… Captain,"

"What, anything you need?" Pike leaned over and gently put a hand on his shoulder.

"This better not get out…" Kirk raised an eyebrow at him.

"Its confidential, son. Remember the course you took on flight psychology? The one where you never studied once, and managed to nail." Jim nodded, he was still in shock.

"Right…" he was now tired, from what though? Pike saw this.

"Jimmy, sleep on my couch here, I am afraid to let you go back alone. Plus I want you where I can see you," he gently pushed him down, and rubbed his back for added support.

"I don't here you arguing with me, cadet…" Jim reached over and squeezed his hand. He wanted his mentor, his father where he could touch him.

"Mmmmmhhhmmmm slueeppp…" he coudnt even get a word out that made sense. Poor baby, Pike thought as he pulled the blanket over from the chair, and wrapped it around him.

"Remember our lullaby…." He whispered gently, he had never had a student want to go back and save him. It had just never happened. He thought about the love and respect and feeling they had for each other as he sang his, really his God child to sleep like a toddler.

"You… are becoming quite the spoiled one." He expected him to murmur in his slumber, but the cadet just held hi hand again, making sure they were connected. He took out his communicato and called his psychiatrist friend for his favorite cadet.


	4. First Timer

**First Timer**

**Rating: T**

"Wanna go to the bar with Uhura and Spock?"

"I can't…. gotta get stuff done for the mission…. Pike's helping." Kirk without even looking at his friend took off down the street back to Star Fleet. Maybe if ran people wouldn't notice.

"Hi Jim," Pike's smile made him feel so good, so safe. It was like something refreshing and comforting, like a security blanket during a rain storm.

"This is it," Pike nodded. He heard their new friend come out of the adjacent office, Kirk didn't know what to think.

"Hi, Chris.. So this is the cadet you were telling me about,"

"Yup, this is my best student, and he's also my God son, James Kirk."

"Hi, nice to meet you," Kirk nodded, he iked this guy already. No mention of George.

"First you gotta tell me how you saved this guys life from a Romulan…" the attention was genuine and Jim liked to brag about his rescues.

"Oh it was simple, once I killed the one guarding him," ike put his arm around him, squeezing his shoulder.

"OK… Jimmy, now tell me how it was like when Spock said you couldn't go get him," his stomach went cold like ice, and he wantd to puke all over.

"It… I… I…"

"Shhhhh, shhhh, easy Jimmy, you're OK…" right Pike was with him he wasn't with strangers…

'Or… did Pike's capture give you feelings of not being able to see your dad and losing someone else was just too much,"

"What you just said," he could deal, this wasn't a big deal, he'd had worse; Spock, nero, not having his dad with him. But his dad had given him Pike, and Pike was the best thing that ever happened to him.

"I know about the test, not need to explain," Jim raised an eyebrow.

"I think everyone does, sir." Pike gave him a glare. Right he couldn't push it, this was therapy.

"The falling dreams are common because of what happened, but I do not trust you to be alone right now…." Came the soft reply back.

"Oh my friends are…" well they had no idea what had gone on, and then again they had no clue he was here.

"Dr McCoy is great, and Commander Spock is…"

"Responsible for the separation anxiety you feel now, cadet…" Kirk nodded slowly, he looked away.

"You are conflicted?" he didn't want to do this anymore, bt he needed to get this out before he exploded.

"_HE SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT Captain Pike there."_ the sound that came out of him must have been so angst filled because Pike had his head in his lap, hoding him a slight headlock, rubbing his blond hair.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhhhh, Jimmy I'm here, I'm here… That's it, that's a good boy, I'm right here, son." He never had anyone witness his special snuggle moments with Pike. They were reserved, they were private, they were _his_. He didn't feel well, he wanted to get knocked out til the bad stuff was all gone.

"Chris," he heard a breathy whisper above him.

'I think I can help this one…" Pike smiled wide, looking down at his broken sper star, his poor baby that all he wanted was to hug him tight and never let go.

"He is my own find and I made him, just be extra careful…"

(&*&&*^&((&$^

How Jim got to his quarters and was lying in bed, with Spock's watchful eye he had no idea. Uhura had brought over some food and tea, and Scotty had eaten already, but sat with the pair just to keep Jim company. He had the best friends/crew ever.

"I'm starving," he sat up and was handed a sandwich, his taste buds didn't care what it was.

"Jim," Spock was serious as ever, and scared too.

"Yes Commander,"

"Jim, we all know whats up? OK? Please do not feel ashamed to tell an of us anything," Uhura said gently, she looked at Spock and he nodded.

"Captain, I am so sorry, please…" was that a lump in Spock's throat? NO WAY! Jim motioned for him to sit down on the bed.

"Spock…"

"No…" his head was down and he was truly sorry. Jim would've comforted him but he was starving.

"We'll talk Spock. You didn't do it…" he was so hungry and tired he really didn't care what happened.

"OK, Captain." He was happy everyone was OK. Well as to be expected.


	5. He Doesn't Love Me

**He Doesn't Love Me**

**PG13**

Jim felt his eyed brim with tears as he looked at Spock. His emotionlessness never got to the Captain, but no he was a complete mess over it. The lack of feeling, and everything with it.

"But…. Spock listen…"

"I do not love you like that Jim," now Jim saw red, and almost vomited. His vision was going by the minute, he had to hold the wall to stand up.

"Spock…"

"What else is there to say, Jim. There is no reason to persist this conversation." The coldness made Jim's head spin. He backed up and ran from the room. He collapsed on the floor outside Pike's office. Wait, Pike was in a meeting. SHIT!

"OK so…" the door opened, and the Captain saw his God son collapsed in a ball on the floor crying.

"Jimmy…. Jimmy what happened?" Pike gently pulled him up, seeing the pain in his God sons eyes.

"Spock doesn't love me…" he whispered, tears starting to fall. He pulled Jim into a gentle hug and guided the broken hearted Captain to his quarters.

Pike gently pulled his over shirt off, and laid Kirk on the bed. He could see him twitching, and convulse every few minutes. Pike put on one of his favorite songs, "Circle Game" and got into bed with his little one.

"Shhhh, I know, I know it hurts.."

"Yeah…" came a teary reply. Pike rubbed his back, just like he always did when he found Jimmy hurt, or scared. He pulled him onto his shoulder, and continued his soothing.

"he.. he didn't even tell me why… I started to cry and he just stood there…"

"Maybe he didn't know you were sad, little one." Pike whispered back. He started humming the song along with the player. He felt Jim relax underneath his arms. Pike gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead, rubbing his nose gently into the blond hair. Jim's grip got tighter around him; he was hurting and upset and wanted his Papa. Pike was exhausted anyway, between therapy and being on leave he had a lot to deal with.

"So tired…" Jim mumbled, holding onto his God father.

"Me too, kiddo…" Jim smiled at the pet name. They came naturally, and he had seen the swell in his emotions after he had started doing it in class, in front of people. He doted on him in the open, yes, he had found his God son just in time. Pike could feel the arms tangle around him tighter than usual.

"Shhhh, shhhhhh I'm right here… I'm right here little one,"

"Papa… Papa don't leave me," came the tear filled reply, Pike just held him close. His poor baby was so tired and hurting, it hurt him to see this.

"I'm here, I'm right here, sweetheart… Shhhh, sshhhhh," Pike continued to rub his back soothingly. He looked down and Jimmy was asleep on his shoulder, Pike didn't dare move him, he knew when he was fussy and had a bad day he was restless. He commed his therapist.

"He told him no and now he's a wreck… I feel like I'm dealing with two teenagers with these two sometimes…"

"Jimmy still has a lot of growing to do… He needs support and love, Spock didn't mean to be cruel, Pike." Pike nodded, emotionless was different than mean. He looked to the sleeping Captain on his chest, his entire form engulfed around his God father. He mumbled in his sleep, Pike giggled silently; he was pissed at him for being on a call.

"The snuggle pile on my chest is kinda cranky at the moment, I'll talk to you later." He signed off, and smiled down at his God son.

"You… have really gotten spoiled since we've been home, Hhhmmmm," Pike smiled down fondly at the blond mop and kissed on the head. Jim leaned into the kiss. The blue ponds opened.

"You.. It was you…" his voice was in a state of wonder and he could seem to get out of it. Pike pulled his face up and held his it with both hands on either side.

"What… What was me, sweetheart…" God if he was having bad dreams again they were all in for it… Please NO!

"When we were saved from Tarsus… You were the one I ran to…" Pike looked at the ceiling, he almost lost it in front of him… Again….

"Yes…" he cooed into Jim's ear, he held his face against his chest, Jim felt the scratchy material of Pike's unfirm on his cheek.

"Yes, baby… It was me… I was the one there, with the "Constellation"." Pike felt like he was about to have a heart attack. Kirk without warning leaned down and vomited all over the floor, his godfather rubbing his back for support.

"I'm going to call, dr Shay alright… I think we might need some help… Kay,"

Pike had the therapist there in ten minutes. He was so overwhelmed; Kirk had made such progress and now what? He just held him in his lap, stroking the blond hair.

"What happened?" Pike looked up and motioned for his friend to come over.

"He remembered me… He remembered me, but I can't think of why it came up…" Pike was shocked at the memory. His friend expertly checking Jim over with a tricoder,. Jim's eyes flutter open.

"Hey, you…" his therapist smiles, and strokes his forehead. Kirk gives him a small smile, and looks around fretfully.

"Papa…" he is starting to get frantic. Pike put a gentle hand on his cheek, he settled down in the covers again; his pair of guardians doting on him. They are interrupted by feet on the floor, which gets Jimmy upset, and fussy.

_Oh wait those aren't feet, those are all my former students _Pike shook his head as Spock, Uhura, and Bones all come in, panicking.

"Guys…." Jim tries to sit up but Pike gently pushes him down still rubbing his head soothingly. He is about to tell them to leave, as his God son has been so upset, but he knows Jim loves them. He nods at Spock, the Vulcan gently sits on the edge of the bed and puts a soft hand on his face inducing a light meld. Pike sighed with relief, it has put him to sleep; an upset Jimmy Kirk was like putting a newborn down for a nap, it was impossible.

"Spock listen to me, he is very fragile… OK, he's been through Hell. Next time say nothing," Pike was trying to stay calm, and keep everything civil, but it was impossible.

"I am very sorry, Captain. I have a great deal of affection for him." Pike nodded. Bones said nothing and just went back to see Jim.

"I have to go to another meeting, sit with him… You're who he needs to see when he wakes up…" Pike was too drained to argue anymore.

"T'hy'la… t'hy'la…." Jim was in a fog and trying to swim out of it and into the normal world. He had a blanket over him, and several monitors attached to him, there was a cool rag on his forehead.

:Hey Jimmy, come on sleepy time to get up… There we are," he opened his eyes to see Dr. Shay with him, along with Spock." The Vulcan was holding his hand gently; the warm brown eyes were full of fear and hurt.


	6. Daddy's Boy

**Daddy's Boy**

**PG13**

**Oh a word on my spell checker, it apparently is non functioning… I've just looked at all my ch's and decided to test it out and it SUCKS! I was an English major so this is gonna drive me CRAZY! **

"On this day… the USS Kelvin was brutally attacked by…" Kirk's head was spinning as everyone sat for morning meeting, Spock was nowhere, Bones was working, and he was about to crash. In a blind state of hysteria and angst he methodically found Pike's office. He needed to cry, he needed his Godfather…

"Damn…" he whispered breathless as the door was locked, he slipped down and felt for his communicator. He could be Pike's secretary, he had all his numbers by heart.

"Hi… its me Jim Kirk…" he is trying to stay composed, but he cant. Its not working. He doesn't even hear the feet come up behind him.

"I know who you are, you silly thing… You're my Godson…" Jim looks up and flings himself into his arms like he has never before. They have their snuggle moments, advising meetings when he was a cadet, and walks along the beach at night after laser practice, but Kirk was never in a state of hysteria like this.

"Shhh, I know… I know, its OK.. its alright…" he unlocked the door and gathered Jim into his arms.

"I know, I know… its Ok Jimmy… I miss him too baby… I miss him too…" he started rocking him in his lap, like a little boy. Jim's heart is racing all over and he's trying to get a breath. They are on the floor of Pikes office, a pair of eyes gently creeps in. Jim can see the blue out of the corner of his eye… _Spock_

"Captain…" Spock slides down onto the floor, and holds his friend's hand. Pike kisses him on the head, still holding him close.

"You're OK… we have you… Shhhhh, sshhhhh…"

"Might the pain be lessened with a sedative?"

"No… no, he needs to get all this out, or it'll kill him," Spock rips out his communicator.

"Dr, McCoy to administration office immediately…" Spock makes a deep attempt to not sound frantic, as to scare Jimmy, who seems now content that he's wrapped up in Pike's grip, safe and sound.

"Spock!" Uhura comes in and sits on the floor, she is terrified. None of them, in all the work had forgotten Jim's tragic day.

"Shhhh, Papa's here, Papa's here…" his Godfather whispers into his ear. He was calm again, his friends are near him. He just seems content in Pike's arms, so no one dares to move him.

)))))))))))))))))

"Why now… It never bothered me before… Dr. S why is it now?" he is whining and cranky, but he doesn't care, he wants to know why this happened. He also wants to vomit his stomach lining up, but can't.

"Jimmy, he did it for you and your Mom." Pike is sitting at his feet on the couch. He feels he might as well adopt this kid, he's practically raising him.

"Buddy, there is a lot of _new_ coming to you, and when that happens we look at events differently. Your Mom did a good job to hide it, and now you have the choice to hide or run…" Dr. said gently, he's been fragile and he doesn't want to frighten him more.

"I… I…" Jim can't seem to process everything at once. Its all too much for him.

"He'd be so proud of you; I know that for a fact, James." Kirk can't help but smile, his Godfather only called him that when he wants to kill him. He can't control his laughter, and sat up, trying to not fall off the couch.

"Well… where the hell did that come from?" Dr. S. grins and shakes his head, looking at Pike. Kirk leans his head on Pike's shoulder, the Captain slips an arm around him, giving him a strong squeeze.

"I'll tell ya what, he'd love that you beat Spock's test." Pike reveals, Kirk looks at him shocked.

"OK, you say this now after I've saved the planet," he grinned at him. Pike brushed his hair back with a free hand and gave him a small kiss on the forehead.

"Papa…"

"What buddy?" Jim is lying on the bed, calm and with Chris safe. That's all thee Admiral cares about, that he is not hurting.

"Woud he have been proud of me?" Pike's eyes fill with tears as he thinks of his friend. He pulls Jim up onto his chest, his heart beating in the Captain's ear.

"Of course… Jimmy, of course he would have been proud…"

"Can you sing the song… please," Pike smiles through his tears and gives him a kiss.

"happy birthday, angel. Papa loves you so much…" Jim nuzzles his cheek with his nose, as Chris begins to softly sing their lullaby.


	7. Recovery

**Recovery**

**PG13**

Jim slipped into the office, and looked behind him. If another admiral saw or anyone he hated… God that'd be a disaster. He sat down in the chair, and waited for Dr. Shay to come in. He was uneasy, and cranky, but this was for Pike and he never argued with his Godfather.

"How'd you guys come up with his pet name?" Jim wanted to say that talking about Chris was not going to make him open up. He looked back at the door, when was Pike coming?

"I'm… we decided by accident.. he did really…" he was starting to panic. Five, seven, ten minutes into it, and no Pike… Had he forgotten?

"Jimmy, if you lok at the door again, I'm going to block it." The firmness made him look up, the eyes were serious and 'don't play with me'.

"I know you love him, but if he doesn't come you'll be OK." Kirk almost went numb. His brain stopped working.

"He's everything to me here…" he felt tears in his eyes. No way was he gonna cry…

"I know that, he is everything to you and he will always be here…"

"I'm scared I'll lose him again,"

"I know that, and that is called separation anxiety." His therapist moves to sit next to him, and comfort him. He began to tickle his arm gently, caressing the soft skin.

"Its OK…. Its OK, Jimmy,"

"I…" he suddenly cant take it anymore and collapses in agony, shaking like a leaf. He is unable to keep his emotions intact and he's all over the place now… Tears, pain, angst… all of it...

"OK… OK, I have you. Shhhhhh, shhhhhhhhshhhhhh, just relax, everything is OK… No one is taking him away from you, Jimmy. I promise…" Jim collapses onto his shoulder sobbing, he hasn't cried like this since… He can't even remember when. He feels like he's got something wrong with him, like he can't see or hear… This pain is nothing on the spectrum of normal and he knows it.

"Shhhh, shhhhh, its OK…. I know, I know…." Without meaning to, he falls asleep in his arms, his head pressed against the doctor's shoulder, looking back he knows he did it intentionally… anyone connected to Pike was amazing, a genius too. He feels like a newborn being cuddled after getting up at three in the morning.

Three hours later he is being laid in bed by Spock, his arms around the half Vulcan's neck. Bones is scanning him with a tricoder and Uhura is trying to find more blankets. Bones was stroking his face gently, soothing him back to sleep.

"Sp… Spock…" . trying to talk is too much of an effort and he is gently shushed by the Southern drawl that is so soothing, and familiar.

"Shhh, Jim you're very, very shaky… Ok, just try and lay still…" he didn't listen, he tried to get up, he wanted his _Vulcan_ he wanted Spock. The science officer leans down and gently held Jim close, his ear pressed to Spock's neck.

"I am here, I am here…" his left hand stroking Jim's neck softly, his Captain buries his nose in Spock's neck, taking in the Vulcan's scent. Jim just holds him back tighter, not saying anything. Pike appears, and Jim relaxes in Spock's arms, as he feels his Godfather rub his back gently.

In one swooping motion Spock has him in his arms, the smaller frame of his friend weighing nothing. Jim feels himself being lowered onto the floor, and the Vulcan gently undressing him. He can hear water running, and Bones's voice behind him.

"Spock easy… he's been through a lot and I don't want him to be too hyped." Bones is so protective, Jim notices. He feels his clothes being slipped off gently, Pike gets down on thee floor, holding his Godson's hand.

"Don't be scared Jimmy, we're going to put you in the bath, OK. I am here, Spock, and Bones are here also. OK, we all love you and everything will be OK." It was the problem with PTSD cadets, they had to come out of the fog and deal with the feelings up front to heal.

Jim wants to reply, and say that he just wants to go back to his bed, but he can't make his mouth work. Bones gently strokes his cheek, and it feels so good and loving; Bones warm hand against his face, he wonders if Dr. S has given his friends and his Papa jobs to do.

Uhura appears with soap and a vanilla scented candle. Jim smiles; she knows what smells he finds soothing. Spock motioned her to go out with his eyes. Bones and Pike slipped out after that, Pike needed a drink that's for sure!

"You… will always be my t'hy'la, James." Kirk was too emotionally tired to be annoyed with the use of his full name. spock gently took a wash cloth and began to bath him, Kirk let out a content moan.

"Spock why did this happen?" he looks up at him and in all his brilliance, the commander knows Jim is coming to him as a teacher this time. For the first time, he can't go to Pike for something…

"Will you keep a secret?" Kirk nodded, he loved how gentle Spock was with him.

"I had deep, powerful affection for you when I saw you on campus as a first year. I knew you were Captain's advisee and I wanted to get to know you better; not because of Captain George Kirk, but for you." Lavender came through the air, and Spock gently lifted him out of the warm bath, laying him in a fluffy towel. Jim can feel the great care, and love he is taking as he dries him off, and then dresses him in fresh pajamas.

"Spock…"

"Yes," he purrs back, laying down next to his Captain, his new found love that if he had not been so blind, could have found years ago. Pike appeared next to them, looking terrified.

"Its pon farr, Jimmy…" Pike said gently. Jim just looked at them in shock, and held Spock's hand tighter.

"By the time he gets back home-" Uhura whispered, trying not to cry. Jim nodded.

"it'll be too late…" Jim said, tears forming in his eye yet again. Pike stroked his forehead softly, trying not to show his god child how scared he was.

"Naruta cannot do it. I will kill her, Captain." Jim nodded again, he knew this was true. Pike leaned down and held Jim's face gently.

"You wanted to make peace, now is your chance, buddy." His thumb is stroking Jims cheek, just the way he likes it when he is scared.


	8. Vulcan's Anatomy

**Vulcan's Anatomy**

**OK, so I kinda went crazy doing research to make everything we know about them, legit. I made nothing up, or tried not to as to keep things authentic. Plse let me kniow if anything is inaccurate **

**PG13**

Jim had been reading on his PADD with Uhura for about three hours. They were brushing up on their Vulcan, and everything about the now endangered species. Jim was so good at the language he was pretty much conversational at it.

"Heart muscle resides in the… ABDOMEN!?" he glanced at his Lt. shocked. She nodded.

"Yes, its not a heart like ours and it's functions a bit differently, but it is more or less the same."

"Food consists primarily of vegetables and some plant life on home planet… unable to take in alcohol… similar effect is seen when given chocolate…" Jim was hoarding all these facts in his head, he wanted to make his room into a Vulcan paradise.

"I'll stock up on Hershey's and some cocoa." She said, making a mental note. Jim was just happy that he was sparing his Lt.'s life; Vulcans strength was not to be messed with.

99999999999

Jim woke up to a cat purring next to him. When the hell had he taken in a cat? Or when did it sneak past security?

"Captain…" Jim jumped up, it wasn't a cat it was his science officer.

"You are trying to seduce me?" the Vulcan raised his eyebrows playfully. He rolled over Jim and lay on the bed.

"I don't care as long as she is safe Spock… I know you do too…" the Vulcan wrapped his arms around him, and held up his hand in thanks. Jim pressed their fingers together. Their first kiss.

"Scratch my head… please," he sounded so sweet, the Vulcan couldn't help it. He began to scratch the blond hair gently.

"I'll take good care of you, I promise," Jim whispered sincerely. Spock said nothing, and just enjoyed holding him. Humans were so fragile. He felt Jim tense up, the strong, cocky Captain was also fragile.

"Shhhh, shhhhh… It is alright…" Kirk wasn't listening, he was lost, somewhere in his own mind. Spock started rocking him gently,

"I have you… I am here, shhhhh, shhhhh…." Kirk held him tighter, arms twined around his neck. He knew this was Jim's favorite, just being cuddled.

"Jim," Uhura got down next to him, and looked at Spock.

"Please don't die…"

"I'd rather me than you… He'd going into heat and he's gonna snap in hours. Its all OK."

"Jim God, if you die I'll slit my wrist and come after you for being so stupid!" Uhura is panicing now, she cant believe he's doing this. Spock turned and glared at her; she backed away and walked out of the room.

"Shhhhh, you're OK… Its OK, I have you…" Jim held him close, he rubbed the ears gently with his thumb. Spock, possessively held him tighter, Jim closed his eyes against the Vulcan. He felt strangely safe.

"Uhhhhh… Spock… Spock…" he moaned, and grunted under the alien. Spock shushed him, and growled like an annoyed German Shepard. Jim started the moving, and felt the Vulcan follow. He still rubbed his ears, one of his favorites when they snuggled. Jim's lack of love left him with a need for closeness and security a lot.

"I… I…" he was starting to get hard, and his body was telling him to keep going; he didn't mind that one. Spock sucked, nuzzled, and licked him. The licking was kind of like a puppy; Jim started crying it was so cute.

"Good boy… there's a good boy, you're OK.. Shhhh, I have you… I'm right here.." he then started tearing up out of nowhere. Memories of them took him over, and he fell into that head on.

_ "Captain… Captain Kirk.." the bodies were on him, and the cameras clamouring for a statement. Pike held him tight as they went through the crowd. A few that got too close Spock growled at…_

_ "Kirk… Look here… JIM WE LOVE YOU!" They didn't quit, and once they were inside he breathed in. Pike leaned against the wall, it was just a space exploration, no planet saving._

_ "Captain…" Spock's hearing heard people inside too. They were back sixteen hours and all this! He stepped in front of his crewmates and growled._

_ "The Captain is not ready to speak, thank you Admirals." He ;ed the way like a guard dog and into a vacant room._

_ "Jim… Admiral Marcus here…" Pike called, as they all stood at Jim's Captain ceremony reception._

_ "very good turnout.."_

_ "Its free food, tats a give-in for any century sir." Jim smiled, shaking his head._

_ "Admiral…" Jim asked cautiously, they all stopped at the seriousness in his tine._

_ "How many casualties?" Pike didn't care what it looked like, and held his hand gently. Marcus looked down._

_ "Son, it is not calculated yet… It may never be…" Jim felt the room spinning, he was glad Pike had his hand to keep him steady. Jim had not seen death on Tarsus, never saw a body. Hearing of death was odd, and painful… His classmates, people he said hi to, friends he played chess with… GONE!_

_ Papa…. He mouthed, Pike saw it out of the corner of one eye, he squeezed his hand and silently told Jim he could be excused._

_ "Captain.." Spock was bhind him and he didn't care. The Vulcan caught up, and found him on the floor sobbing. He slide down next to him, and pulled him, shockingly into his arms. Spock had heard the whole thing._

_ "It is alright… It is alright… Shhhh, shhhh…" Jim hated cracking in front of Spock, he hated it but he was a mess on the floor. The Vulcan caressed his cheek, and wiped his eyes softly._

_ "they all gone…" _

_ "Yes my T'hy'la they are all gone, but you have helped all of us survive… Me, Nyurta, Scott, Dr. McCoy, and even Captain Pike." Spock smiled a bit with his eyes. _

_ "Spock.. Spock don't leave me…. Spock…" the Vulcan held him tighter, purring to sooth him. Jim felt like a little boy, but this all hurt so much._

….. Jim woke up, he was soaked, and shaking.. Spock was purring next to him content

"Hey, hey you…" he whispered gently, stroking his ears some more. His groin never knew it went this way, and his penis feels like its almost inside out, how much swelling could there be? Had Spock hurt a blood vessel or something?

"Hey buddy.. You OK, hhmmmm.. There's a good boy, that's my Spock…" he cradles Jim like a newborn rocking him. Jim slips his arms around his neck, feeling so oddly protective.

"Jim…. Jim.. Can ya hear me, its Bones… Jimmy say something…" Bones is standing there worriedly with Pike.

"Jimmy, you need a break, OK… Little one it's been 15 hours, OK. You need some food in your tummy, and you're going to go in to shock with no fluids, OK." Jim glances at Spock, the Vulcan is sleeping against him. Pike seizes the opportunity, and gently, slowly, lifts his Godchild into his arms.

Bones scans him, and hands him a water bottle. Jim lazily snuggles into Pike's arms, he is so sleepy he could stay there for days.

"Honey open up for me," Pike whispers gently, holding the water since his Godson is too sleepy to coordinate anything. He opens his parched throat, and Pike feeds him like a little bird. Bones examines without touching, his swollen member.

"Let the blood coagulate down there, nothing is bruised on the skin… the abrasions on your torso are fine too. Jim isn't even listening, he's so sleepy. He nestles against his Godfather, he wants his lullaby but he's too tired to ask. His adviser knows him perfectly.

"Baby mine, don't you cry…" Jim smiles sleepily, Bones put a soothing hand on his cheek. He knows they will put him back in with Spock once he sleeps for a bit.


	9. Healing

**Healing**

"Jim… Jim you have to sit up for me…" Pike gently pulled him up on his shoulder from the couch. He was going lax in his arms, shaking at the same time. he felt Kirk clinging to his uniform like a spider.

"I cant listen… I can't…" Pike hated to be hard on him, but it had to be done.

"Listen to me, you have to get past this… Ok, I'm right here, here… touch my hand OK…" he pressed his hand to his pulsing neck. Kirk wrapped his arms around him and sobbed. Pike rubbed his cheek softly.

"Where were you?" he asked as Pike cleaned his face off. Chris looked down, and sighed.

"I was home here, we got the call in a meeting… everyone went hysterical… I think Admiral Archer almost collapsed." Pike remembered, he rearranged them so Jim was in his lap, his face pressed against Pike's chest.

"He named me… I can't believe it… no one ever told me that before…" Pike took his pulse again, the shock was wearing off. as if on cue, Spock, Uhura, Bones and Chekov came in silently.

"There's one more you need to hear, OK baby…" Jim nodded, his face not leaving Pike's chest. Spock handed him the chip.

"Jim.. It is alright.. we are here to be of all support for you." Spock whispered, his friend didn't look up. Bones handed Spock the tricoder and the human jumped in Pike's arms.

"Shhhhhh, shhhhhshhhhh…. Its OK… Its alright, no one will hurt you," Pike whispered, as his Godson buried his face in his shoulder.

"Its OK… its OK, you're alright, I've got you," Pike whispered, Uhura looked from her Captain to her boyfriend.

"Spock, be careful, he looks like he's about to have a heart attack…" she went over and put a hand on Kirk's cheek gently.

"Maybe if we all vatch it togewther," Chekov suggested, smiling. Pike looked at him with grateful eyes. Who says Russians are hard asses?

)))))))))))))))))))))

_ "Chris…" Winona's voice sounded strained and paniced._

_ "OK, I'm coming over, don't worry… it will be OK…" _

_ "He's scared, what is so scared of… the only blessing is he was a baby during the whole ordeal." She was crying now._

_ "OK, just relax.. I'll be there soon." _

_\ "Jimmy, why don't we go to sleep.. OK, buddy?"_

_ "Will you tuck us in?" came his small voice, pleading. _

_ "Course I will… everything will be alright, I promise." Pike saw everyone out of the corner of his one eye, Jim still slipped around his torso; everybody was teary eyed._

_ "Stay…" came the sleepy reply._

_ "OK.. Everything will be OK. I promise," _

Pike looked down at Jim, and he was asleep in his arms. Spock was trying to control his outward emotions, Chekov was reaching for a tissue on Pike's coffee table, and Uhura had her head on Spock.

Jim moved in his sleep, his grip getting tighter and tighter. Bones came in with a tricoder, Pike nodded and he gently scanned his friend.

"Heart rate normal, sir. His breathing is better, but he needs to be monitored physically," Pike nodded his thanks.

"Keptin, es he going to be vokay…" Chris hated to lie to the kid. Kirk and him were close, he had them both in weapons. Chekov all clumsy and Kirk a champion.

"I am sure of it, ensign." Pike gently continued rubbing his Godson to sooth him. Chekov didn't look convinced at all.

"Maybe we should go…" Uhura said slowly to the others. They all filed out, but Spock gently put his arms around his friend.

"You are strong… I promise you, it will be alright… We will always be here for you."

They leave and Pike gently rocks him, Jim's arms still around him. The warm air is present as it blows through an open window, the California ocean visible and audible outside. He hears Jim stir and open his eyes.

"Papa…" came the soft word, the one Pike loves more than anything in the world, and how he is so grateful to do this for his best friend.

"M'sorry I put you through that, but you needed to know… And he LOVED you both to do it, OK." No one could've predicted that happening, and Jim knew it. Pike gave him a strong squeeze around the middle.

"And look on the bright side, if I hadn't gone through it, I would have never found you at all. When he asked me to be godfather to both of you, it was wonderful, and I wouldn't trade it for the world…"Pike hoped he understood and wasn't hurt anymore. He let it all sink in, and played with the starship models before Jim looked up at him.

"I used to pray every night… that people would stop know my name… so I wouldn't have to be so… special…" tears pooled from his blue eyes. Pike held him tighter than usual, his own eyes brimming with tears.

"I know, little one…" Pike felt the tears falling don his unshaven face. He didn't clean them away; he needed to cry with his Godson. They flowed out like a river, onto Jim's messy hair.

"Papa…"

"What buddy?" Pike let the tears come through his voice, so Jim knew he wasn't alone in his agony.

"Remember when you saved me from Tarsus?" Pike nodded, gently rubbing his back again.

"What was the lullaby you sang to me in sickbay? When they wanted to give me sleeping meds for the stitching the cut on my arm?" Pike thought for a minute, and then remembered. Little Jimmy in his arms, crying not from trauma but from needles.

"A Sesame street song from the 1970's.. about the moon because you said to me "Uncle Chris sing me a song about our planet and I'll forget about Tarsus.' " Jim smiled, thinking of the memory.

"Wasn't Ernie my favorite color back then?" Pike grinned. Jim snugged closer to him, craving security. The sky turned a light lavender in color, it was getting late.

"OK, come on little one… Time for a nap," he laid down and commanded the lights off.

"I love you Papa," was whispered in the darkness. Pike just kissed him for what seemed like the tenth time and shushed him.

Pike was reminded seeing Chekov of how Jim helped him. He was always there if the kid was not doing things correctly. he would gently tell him what to do, and make the movements with his hands. Jimmy could teach, that was one day Pike had been amazed. He watched out for the teen, and took him under wing with Bones and his other friends. Kirk was like some kind of bodyguard who took care of the kid.

He had gone to check on his Godson, and found him reading to the younger cadet in his room. Chekov looked so captivated. He adored Kirk. Jimmy looked up at his Godfather, and continued explaining what was happening.

He snuggles closer to his Godson, the two of them curled together like a pair of puppies. He lovingly tickles Jim's cheeks, he always loved that when he was little.


	10. Spock and Jim

**Spock and Jim**

Jim needed a drink: OK they ALL needed one. He slipped into the usual bar and had Bones in front of him and Uhura behind him. Chekov was somewhere inside already.

"Bones… here!" Jim heard a voice, one of their other officers. He had to keep track of everyone in all this.

"Spock… come on…" he found their friends and ordered a beer. He waited for Uhura and Spock, and then sat down. He had a bad feeling about all this.

"Jim… this isn't the best looking crowd…' Uhura nudged at him. Jim, in a rare form of being a protective Captain put an arm around her gently. what could happen?

He saw them and then he heard them. Xenophobic cadets… or maybe they weren't cadets, they were.. He wasn't sure what they were actually. He heard Spock's name, once… Then he heard it twice… the others didn't hear, but he felt his therapist pull him back.

"No… Please, Jim I promised him, no fights… Seriously he'll kill us both, PLEASE!" Jim didn't even hear him, and finished his drink. He went over to them, readying himself to slam someone. Sulu tried to pull him back too, no luck. Uhura, seeing this just ignored the whole thing… what the heck was going on with him?

"Look! You have an issue with Spock you have a REAL problem with ME!" he didn't even wait for a response, he swung hard. Uhura was up now, with Dr. and Scotty… Not again Jim.

"NOBODY, I mean NOBODY insults my first officer and gets the HEL away with it!" one of them slammed him into the wall, and he had a bloody lip. Scotty, and Bones pulled him back, both of them together got him out of harms way. Uhura held ice to his bleeding face. Bones had a tricoder out, scanning him. Spock couldn't even speak… he was shocked… his Captain had coe to his defense in a fight… he didn't know what to do.

Dr. Shay and Bones were hauling him out to the curb, and Uhura was screaming at him for being so stupid. Bones had his communicator out, and was on the phone to security. Chekov and his counter part Sulu were cheering at him for being such a good shot. He knew deep down, he'd do it again.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

"I just…"

"Jimmy hold still…" Pike pressed him down so Bones could fix his lip. Chekov and Sulu were helping him.

"it's just that…"

"Jim, shut up.. I'm about to KILL you!" Bones was livid about the whole thing. Spock stood in the corner, not speaking.

"NO ONE, and I mean _no one_ hurts my Vulcan and gets away with it!" there was anger in his tone none of them had ever heard. Pike glanced at Bines, as the MD scanned his head again.

"Captain… You are hurt…" there was a catch in his voice. Uhura put her arms around him. She was his wife, but Jim was his T'hy'la, forever, she had accepted that.

"Jim… Shhh…" Pike tried to calm him down. He stared at his mentor, a face in three and a half years Pike had never saw. He gently rubbed his head to sooth him.

"Shhhh, I know… I know buddy.. Its OK, Spock's OK.. See…" Pike was now exasperated. What was the bog deal? Jim was so easy going about this, how was this time different?

"Shhh, it is alright T'hy'la… I am alright, Nyota is alright, everything is alright…" Spock whispered, he gathered Jim in his strong arms and went to the bedroom, shutting the door.

"Shhh, my T'hy'la what is the problem? I am not injured, what has gotten you so upset?" Kirk responded y snuggling up to him.

"SPOCK! No hickeys on him, I _mean it Commander_!" Pike growled. Spock merely raised an eyebrow slightly. Jim then jumped at him, wrapping himself around his Commander. Lips were parteted, and Spock purred in to Jim's ear. They fell onto the Captain's bed, and their bodies meshed into one being. Jim again, sobbed like a small child.

"Shhhh, shhhhhhh I have you… I a here t'hy'la, I am here.. Shhh do not cry Jim, it is alright…" Spock began purring to quiet the ache is beloved felt. He rocked him gently, caressing every inch of him, hi s poor baby… Spock was so worried, he didn't want to put him down for the rest of the night, and just hold him, keeping him cocooned and safe.


	11. Where's Jimmy

**Where's Jimmy?**

Pike looked in the bedrooms. He slipped into the meeting halls; no Jim. He looked in Spock's quarters, no Kirk.

"Captain I cannot locate him." There was a frantic tone

"Oh god what the hell happened…" Uhura was behind Spock, and they both met Pike in the hallway.

"I… I…" Chekov joined the trio breathless, he shook his head, and leaned into Spock causing the Vulcan to jump ten feet in the air.

"Spock, chill." Pike said, his brain totally focused on finding his Godson. The Vulcan looked at him weird.

000000000000000

Pike slipped into the hanger and onto the top tear. No Kirk. He oulled the communicator out, no word from anyone… where was he? It was getting late, and dark, he was such a worried parent he had given that battle up years ago when the boys were small. Somehow he knew its what George would have wanted.

He slide past the workers and into the repair room. There were slippers sticking out underneath the belly of his lady.. Pike almost died to keep from laughing, but he looked so sweet all curled up under her. A boy and his ship.

"Little one, whatta ya doing here?" he knelt down to his godchild, Kirk was sleepy and wrapped up like a snow bunny in winter.

"Sleep." He said tiredly. Pike's smile got bigger and bigger. He slide underneath her with his Jimmy and laid down. It was an odd view, seeing her parts all messed up.

"Wanna sleep come up to bed." Kirk looked away, and said in a small voice that Pike was alarmed at.

"I just wanna stay here, Papa…"

"OK, come on… Here we go," he gently inched his Godson out from under both their favorite lady, and scooped him up, pajamas and all.

"No… No, please… please let me… why cant I just stay here…." Pike grinned, and laughed. He noticed how little Jim weighed, guess it was time for some bigger dinners after away missions.

"Say goodnight to the _Enterprise_ Jimmy…" he grinned, at Kirk looking back towards his beloved ship.

"G'ni…" he was asleep in ten seconds. Pike grinned, and tightened his hold on him. He made it back to his quarters. Spock, Chekov, and Uhura were all shocked.

"Bones… thank you I didn't even know he was out…" Pike said placing his little one in bed, tucking the blankets around him securely. Bones just grinned.

"he comes out every night and visits her, Captain." Bones shook his head, still smiling.

"He's even crazier than I was…" Pike grinned wider, gently brushing a hand over Kirk's cheek. He glanced out at the stars, and wondered if there was a small chance his best friend had something to do with this, and he was just viewing the whole thing from a different view.


	12. Hot Night

**Hot Night**

**PG13**

"and then there was also the time that…" Jim shifted in his chair, and sipped the beer in front of him. He tried to seem interested in what Admiral Archer was saying. Across from him, Spock was next to Uhura and Chekov was between Uhura and Sulu. He tried to keep himself calm, but anymore tod rink and Pike was going to notice something was up.

The blond on Pike's other side was laughing, and grinning at Archer. Jim wanted to slip under the table, and hide but he couldn't. the fish in front of him looked unappetizing and he was trying to keep the water coming, so to counter the alcohol.

"Jim, what do you think about that planet?" Archer asked, he saw Pike out of the corner of his eye, so he straightened up.

"Very good find sir, we've been tracking the coordinates ffpr weeks. Mr. Spock thinks that there is much to be seen once we lock a target." Good he could look at Archer and stop looking at Pike. Ok, now Spock was looking at him weird.

"I imagine your father would have done the same thing, looked ahead?" Jim sipped his water, Pike stiffened.

"Yes, I am sure he would have, but then again he killed himself so that's that." Great, now Pike was going to totally kill him. Uhura was staring at him in shock. Scotty was staring at Bones, and Chekov looked like someone had murdered his puppy.

"Excuse me, Admirals. Everyone." He wanted to run but he couldn't so he speed walked to the bathroom. The flounder he had come up all over the stall. He heard the door, hoping it was Spock. No luck; it was Pike.

"JAMES!" thr coldness in his earth dad's voice was something Kirk would've run from but now he couldn't an wouldn't.

"Jimmy… Honey, what's the matter…" the anger was replaced with concern. He unlocked the stall, before Pike shot it with a phaser. Chris saw his only Godson on the floor, looking totally awful. In one swoop Pike was next to him, holding him tight. Jim sobbed like he never had in his life.

"Shhhhh, shhhhh its OK baby… Papa's here, Papa loves you.. Its OK Jimmy, I have you, shhhhh." Arms wrapped around his neck in a death grip were his answer.

"A bit much, bringing a girl to a 'Fleet dinner? Huh, pumpkin?" Jim just looke dup at him with watery baby blues.

"Shhhhh, no one's gonna take Papa away from you… Promise, promise." He said the last words in a Captain-like serious tone. Kirk just nuzzled his uniform contently.

"Chris…." Dr. S called, Pike opened the door, and nodded to the little bundle on the floor.

"This was a bit much, I'll talk to him, but right now you're a better therapist than me right now, Captain." Pike nodded, and gently rubbed Jim's back, like always. There moent was crushed by feet running along the tiled floor. One, Spock, two Nyota, three Bones, and bringing up the rear Chekov and Sulu.

"I have a sedative…" Bones whispered, he kneels down, and presses it to Jims neck. He doesn't even flinch. Spock, to feel the contact of his best friend, and soulmate, lifts him into his big arms, gently caressing the soft skin.

Clump, clump, clump, along the corridor of the hallways. The door opening, as Pike turns the key to Spock's, the covers are taken down and he wraps his t'hy'la securely in their bed. Jim reaches up and grabs for his Vulcan, and then his Papa.

"Spock.. don't go…" Pike pushes the Vulcan down, and Spock entangles his arms and legs around his beloved. They morph into one body as their love devours both their minds and souls. Bones scans him again, making sure there is no rapid heartbeat. Pike and Bones took the cue and left.

"Spock…" jim turned and looked over at his t'hyla.

"Shhhh," the Vulcan whispered. He hovered no top of Kirk, and removed his uniform in one swoop. What followed is sure to make the entire universe light up like a Christmas tree; and Vulcans don't even celebrate it….

Pike closed the door, and looked Kirk's crew over. Chekov still looked unsure. He put an arm around the youngest member of the Fleet.

"He's good ensign, he's…."

"Getting laid," Uhura said, not aware an entire company was behind them at the table. Bones punched her in the arm, she turned and looked back horrified. Shoot… Pike returned to the table a looked at everyone as if his Godson was fine. Mission accomplished.


	13. Trapped

**Trapped**

**PG13**

They were trapped and Jim knew it. They were totally screwed, and this was a bad situation. He should have never…

"Captain…" Spock is standing over him. His face is covered in blood and dirt, and he's got a massive internal injury. His whole being is focused on staying alive. Spock pulls him to his feet. Uhura is trying to get a signal; there is none.

"Spock.. Whatever happens to me… get them out of here…" he whispers. He holds him close and just stays there. Chekov is on the ground knocked out, and Bones… He has no clue.

"Listen to me… We are getting out of here…" he doesn't have a damn clue how, but they will. He fights the urge to collapse on them now; he wants to go home, he wants Pike, he wants Dr S…

:Shhhh, I am here my t'hy'la.. Shhhh…" he loves his beautiful Vulcan and he wants to believe him. There is no food, no water and no sign of anything there. They crashed the shuttle, and it's not good.

"Keppp…" Chekov is awake, trying to talk. Kirk goes in to protective mode, and holds him down. He has a concussion and several broken ribs. He gathers him in his arms, and cradles him tight.

"Wan go home…" the teen whispers. Kirk loses it this time, and collapses, he can't help it. That's all he wants, what they all want.

"I know little one…." Pike's baby name comes out naturally.

"Papa… please come save us…" he whispers through his tears, still cradling Chekov in his lap, rocking him. Uhura pulls them close, and Spock slips down, kissing Jim on the cheek, Kirk takes his hand tight in his own.

000000

"They are not locatable sir," Pike jumps up, even though it causes him pain.

"NO! That is MY godson, and MY ship. You ARE finding them!" he has never been so angry in his life. His baby, his Jimmy, he promised George he'd protect him…

"Angel… its Papa, I love you so much, nothing will ever change that. We're coming baby, I promise you, we WILL find you Jimmy…" he whispers in the darkness, he holds Jim's dirty shirt to his chest; it smells like his Godson.


	14. Warp

**Warp**

**Rating: T+**

Kirk's POV

_Kirk was in and out of consciousness. Someone was dabbing his face with a rag. He was swimming in his head and he had no way out.. If he could only…_

"NO! He's my godson, and I am holding him!" it was… could it be…

"Paaaa… Papa?" he turned, and saw his beloved Godfather, he was wrapped in his lap, and a few blankets. Pike was sitting in what must be a biobed.

"Shhhh, baby relax, I am here with you, Papa's got you, don't be scared its all over," Bones scanned him, and nodded. He was stable, and OK for now.

"Jimmy relax, OK, buddy you've been through hell. Thought we lost ya when they beamed down…" wait, they? Pike stroked his blond hair, and gently kissed him all over, a few times. Kirk counted.

"Spock?" he turned in Pike's arms, searching for his first officer. Bones smiled slightly. The Vulcan leaned against the door, a gentle look in his eyes.

"Sp… Sp… Spo…" Pike shushed him gently; he was going to crash again from adrenaline. The Vulcan went over, and held his hand gently, they kissed passionately, fully, and Kirk never wanted it to end.

))))))))))

He slipped past the desk, and into Chekov's room. The Russian was sleeping soundly. He turned his vitals on, and got into bed with his navigator.

"Hey little guy, I'm here OK… I'm right here…" he got into bed with him, and pulled him close.

"Keppp…" Kirk shushed him, and kissed his cheek. He was never this lovey with them, but then again they had all never almost died before. The kid nuzzled him back.

"Want me to sing to you?" he whispered, he tre=ied to think of a lullaby.

"One of yours that Keptin always sings," the big eyes stared back at him. Kirk knew one.

"Yesterday a child came out to wonder…" he sang softly into his ear, stroking the dark hair gently. Pike stares at them, he wants to be selfish and hold Kirk but he can't; Kirk needs his crew.

Spock POV

He wanted his Captain. He wanted to hold him, to love him, and keep him safe. He leans against the wall, watching kirk and his adopted father. He loves him so much; he feels Jim just want to look at his beloved Papa, touching him, clinging to him.

"Spock…" Bones whispers, and he comes in, Kirk sees him and wants his beloved too. He wants them both. They join hand, giving gentle, loving kisses. Pike smiles widely for his Godson and his first officer.

"I will let you rest…" Kirk attempt to sit up in Pike's arms but cant. His Papa shushes him.

"Uhura…" Spock turns back to him. He doesn't want out lie to him. He leans down and takes Jim's hands in his own.

"She is unresponsive Captain," Kirk nods, still wrapped in his blankets and Pike's arms.

"Chekov? Mr. Spock?"

"Concussion, and a few broken ribs as you originally predicted." Again Kirk nods. He looks up at Pike who gives him an encouraging smile. Somehow if the roles were reversed he'd do the same.

"Papa… I'm tired…" Pike nods, and Spock shows himself out, nodding to the pair and Bones. He stops at the door, and hears Kirk's voice mirror that of a small child.

"Papa… sing the song." He sounds so weak, so hurt… Spock cannot take it, he simply cannot. He feels a hand on his shoulder gently; it is Sulu.

"They will be alright commander," he nods, but his emotion is over the top and logic cannot calm him down. Almost dying on a planet with his crew is not at all logical.


	15. Gone

**Gone**

**PG13**

Pike slipped into the dark sick bay room. He had left his Godson only once to shower, and change uniform; then he was loyally back at Jim's side.

"Hey… You OK, baby?" he got into bed with him, and enveloped him like eh always did. Jim didn't respond.

"Jim…. Jim… Sweetie, answer me…" his godson turned, and reached over and felt his neck. Then it hit Pike, he was feeling his pulse… Admiral Archer's assessment class, when you feel for a dead crewmate. Pike held him tighter, praying his Godson would cry a bit.

"Yes.. Yes little one, Papa's here… Papa has you… Shhhhh, shhhhh, its OK baby," Pike whispered, keeping his voice low and soothing. Jim rested his head on his shoulder, he could see a supernova flying across the sea of black from the dark hospital room. It was all different colors like a kaleidoscope. He snuggled closer to his Papa, watching the star…

"Home," he whispered, still looking deeply at it. Chris looked down at his Godchild suddenly.

"Yes, yes baby… You're home now," Jim breathed deeply, Papa didn't understand what he meant…

"Home…" he repeated softly, tears in his blue ponds. Pike put a hand on his blond hair, cupping it as he rubbed his back. Jim was laying on him; much like a newborn would on a mother's shoulder. Pike started to get frantic in his own head now… he put his hand in his Godchild's.

"Spell it for me, Jimmy… I don't know what you mean, pumpkin…" he whispered, he held Jim tightly with the other hand.

_ONLY SIGN OF EARTH I'M SCARED PAPA _the door opened and Bones came in to do a quick scan. Kirk gave him a good size smile. He was still perched on Pike's shoulder.

"One of the girls gave me some milk replicator powder in a sippy cup, think we should try and get him to eat?" Chris nodded, taking it from the doctor.

"OK little one, here you go," he lay Jim on the other shoulder, holding the cup as he put his lips to it, drinking the nutrition. Bones put a cloth over Pike's shoulder.

"In case he spits up, I want to keep him on all liquids for a bit longer," Pike nodded, kind of like feeding a baby at this point.

"Ok little one…. All done, kiddo…" he handed the half empty cup back to Bones, still holding his Godson up right in case he vomited or spit up. Bones gave him a gentle kiss on the head, letting him know he was loved. Pike reached up, and began to stroke his blond hair again.

"Captain, there is a problem with Uhura…." Kirk looked up, when had Spock come in?

"Ok I'll…' Pike pushed him back down softly.

"No I'll go, you stay… Spock sit with him." Pike said as he made his way out the door. Kirk reached his arms out to his science officer.

"I am here…" the Vulcan whispered, he began rubbing Kirk's head again. The human twined his arms around him tightly.

"Let those eyes sparkle and shine, never a tear/baby of mine…" Bones sat on the other side and began singing softly. Spock gave him a grateful look.

"We love you, t'hy'la…. Please for all that is good in the Universe get well." Spock whispered. Bones's heart broke, he had not told Jim about Uhura and how she was not speaking, how she was gone. He looked out at the stars and thanked them that Pike was the perfect distraction.

Pike came back minutes later, there was no change. He relieved the Commander, and pulled Jim close.

"Everything's OK, right Papa?" Pike looked down at his wounded Godchild.

"No… no baby, Uhura's in bad shape…" he whispered, Jim nodded. He tightened his gruip on his Admiral, his everything and nestled further into his arms.


	16. Daddys Angel

**RIP Whirney, song is called Bigger Than You and I (Preacher's Wife Soundtrack)**

**Daddy's Angel**

Pike slipped back into the kitchen with wine in his hand. He was trying to do everything, and more. Having a social life was on the back burner for now…

"You good?" the blond next to him nodded, and they sat together. He had an extra leg in his bed room. Jimmy asleep for the night. Not for long though…

He heard it in his head and was convinced he had not been told he was part Vulcan. He made a quick remark to get something, and slipped into the bedroom, where his Godson was in a fretful state.

"Hey buddy," Jim looked up, annoyed they were not snuggling like every night.

"Should I tell Admiral Archer to book a church?" Pike gave him a playful look, sitting on the bed, rubbing Jim's head.

"No, not yet…"

"Be careful, I'll slip at the meeting…" his Godson replied playfully. Pike wrapped him a warm, loving hug.

"You better not, little one… Now go back to sleep or I'll hypo you."

"I cant…"

"Jimmy, honey please…" Pike whispered, McCoy had been on him about Jim not sleeping lately.

"I will if you sing to me…" he said softly, knowing his Godfather would cave in. their bond had gotten strong if that was possible.

"OK," Pike answered softly he began to stroke his head gently. He leaned down and held Jimmy in his arms, close and secure, and started to sing.

"Who made the mountains/who made the trees…" he had no idea where the lullaby came from, something soothing for his Godchild and the words always made Pike think there was something bigger than the Fleet. Even though most officers wouldn't admit that.

"Who needs who more?" Archer stood in thr doorway, he had come to pick up the files for the next mission. Pike looked down at his beloved Godson, that might as well be his own child.

"Don't you start now, hear me?" Archer grinned wider, and quietly stepped out. Pike held his little one tighter to his chest, Jimmy loved to feel secure.

"And who writes the song for the robins to sing/Something bigger than you and I…" he touched his face to Jim's, and he could feel him fall asleep.

"I love you, Papa," comes the whispered reply as he gets up to leave. He plans to spend the night in Jim's room; he almost lost his beloved Godson and that was the worst thing to happen next to losing his best friend.


	17. Chapter 17

**Uhura**

**Deep stuff here, what happened on the planet and minor characters from the movies….**

Jim slide the door to the room open, and laid down in bed next to his best Lt. she was not herself at all and didn't even look at him.

"Hey, Ok so they're letting us leave tomorrow on a shuttle, I said no shuttles, but we don't have a choice because of Chekov's ribs. So anyway, I told Bones to just knock us all out, OK" still no response. He turned her head, nothing there.

"Lt."

"Uhura, its me, Sex Guy…" still no talking from her. He stared at Bones from the bed.

OoOOOOOooooOoOo

Jim paced outside, and Pike stood with him and Bones. Spock looked worried now.

"I'm sorry, say that again…" Jim repeated, tense.

"She is in shock, Jim."

"So…. Let me get this straight, my best linguist and Lt. is not speaking for the past week, and everyone pretended that it was best…"

"_You _were in zero condition to have anything else on you, I had to feed you and sponge bath you for three days, and then you finally let Spock give you a real bath." Pike said, trying to make him listen.

"We have to go home, at some point we have to get home…" Pike nodded. Jim stared back at his Lt and sighed… This was bad…

" What are we doing?"

"I told you, its called snuggling.." Jim tried not to sound annoyed. He was tipsy, and cranky now. Too much explaining to Spock was never a good idea.

"But Jim we can't stay here…." Bones said, he was trying to reason with his Captain. Jim just nestled into his beloved's arms, he always loved to be held. Pike spoiled him way too much.

"The floor's hard, Jim." Came an annoyed reply from Bones.


	18. Saved

**Saved**

Jim woke up with sleepy eyes, and lying in someone's lap. There was a soft voice… one that he had heard his entire life, and there was no denying who it was…

"_Papa…" _he looked up at his beloved Godfather, and Pike just smiled warmly, and rubbed his head.

"Shhhh, I have you… Its OK, baby everything's alright." Kirk reached up and put his arms around him. Still so insecure, still so hurt after all these years of love.

"Papa, will she be OK?" he whispered, tears in his blue eyes. Pike would be dammed if he hurt his Godson.

"Baby she's in shock and it'll take a while… OK?" he had to stay positive; he could not let his little baby think his friend was going to die. He remembered how he had once said to Nona that no matter how big he got, Jimmy would always be his little one.

"I stayed awake for three nights; I used Spock as a pillow, and held Chekov so he wouldn't move himself… Uhura looked for food," Pike nodded, he let his Godchild continue uninterrupted.

"Spock nerve pinched me so I would sleep while he held Chekov." Pike nodded, he knew he needed to vent at some point. Dr. S appeared in the doorway, nodding to his Godfather for Jim to keep going.

"I made Chekov drink my pee… he had no clue what it was, thankfully.. I screamed Uhura's name, and she never responded. I thought she was sleeping…" Kirk looked up at him, Pike nodded, staying quiet, letting him vent, he held Jim tight letting him know he was safe.

"We pray for our fathers/pray for out mothers/wishing our families well…" he would sing Jim and Sam Michael Jackson's songs when they commed him sad or hurt. Kirk just nestled into his arms like always.

"Go to sleep, angel baby… I'll wake you if there's a change, OK Jimmy?" Jim wanted to protest but couldn't he was so sleepy.

"My heart is weeping/and this is for all the lost children/ wishing them well/and wishing them home…" he savored having Jimmy safe in his arms again, it was a feeling he always wanted to have.

"You want a break?"

"no… no he's too restless, I don't want him going nova if I'm not there…" Pike suddenly never wanted him in a starship ever again. I they had not found them… Dear God… he gently stroked his cheek, relishing in the touches, and murmurs of "I wuv you Papa".


End file.
